From Bean town to California to an unexpected North Carolina. We gave birth to this Blog after our miscarriage in July 2008 & it continues with the birth of Liliana in July of 2009. We are so truly blessed.
So we already know that I'm that geaky-freak that LOVES, yes loves a clean page of a calendar. There is such beauty in a new month to me, never mind a NEW YEAR. Its a fine line of not knowing what may happen & looking at what is already planned.
This year I became a parent. I spent 1/2 of the year pregnant & this last part being initiated into mommyhood. 2009 was a record year. I entered it going into my 2nd trimester, full of anticipation of what being a parent would be like plus what Labor would be like. All were different & yet so much better than I ever could have expected. Not to say that both weren't (& are) exhausting, but it puts a whole new spin on my life. I am not only a wife, daughter, sister, friend, nurse, but I am a mother & Eli is a father. I think we're both growing & learning in these roles as we experience being Lili's parents. I question myself all the time. Am I doing it right, is she ok, how can I do a better job. I think I'll probably never stop doing that, its just in my nature to want to make sure everything is ok.
I pray that I'm able to give just a little more over to Him in 2010 & remember I can't do it alone~ever. Praise God for blessing us with this life, for reminding us what is truly important.
As I was talking to my "roomies" last night about their children & my child I realized I've become one of them. One of those parents who can talk about their child endlessly. Its not in a boastful manner, but in a loving way. Its good to learn what other parents are doing, what they may recommend & in the end its your place to discern what works best for you & your babe.
She's all of 6 months & everyday I find out something new about her, its pretty amazing. I've never had a more emotional, up & down, tiring, yet joyful 6 months in my life. :)
So, as of late our sweet little girl is choosing to eat over sleep. Which means eating every 2 hrs for her & so her & I have frequent rendezvous for breastfeedings. She fascinates me in good ways (& tired ways too). She certainly knows what she wants & when she wants it. The last couple nights her bedroom door has resembled a revolving door more than anything. *Is this another growth spurt, could she be teathing, is my milk changing...a few of the many thoughts that are running through my mind. I love her so much, but I prefer to resume to the previously scheduled sleep pattern--> 1-2 times a night feeding again.
So its back to work tonight for me & well I hope Eli & her fair well. I'm sure they will, its always when I worry much that things seem to be completely fine. Peace out!
*Buying a tree @ Trosa, even though appearing a bit tired (probably overdue for her nap) *Enjoying the stockings by rolling around in them over & over & over again *Anticipating her 1st Christmas
But most of all WE are enjoying every second with her even more. Its hard to believe just a quick 5 months ago we welcomed you into our lives. We love you sweet little babe and look forward to the months & years to come.
Thanksgiving Day (the only pic. I took--bad mother!) :(
Ok, so its the last day of the 2nd to last month of 2009. We are in holiday prep mode, got the candle lights in the windows & the boxes out to decorate & getting a tree tomorrow. Today Eli & I discussed what we want to focus on as we prepare to share Advent & Christmas with our daughter for the 1st time. Yes, we realize she's a little young to understand it, but we also want to lay the foundation for years to come. Eli & my childhood's were VERY different when it comes to Christmas: His was focused on Advent & giving. They received gifts only to give them away to more needy families. When your father is a Pastor & your mother is a missionary the focus is going to be different. Mine was making Santa lists, getting pictures taken with the Jolly old man, watching all the Christmas shows & having sleepless Christmas Eve nights in hopes not to run into Santa (yes-I really worried about that).
So we're trying to mesh these two very different worlds together. Since Eli & I have been together we've really cherished Christmas Eve & being able to worship that night. We've spent many holidays on our own due to always living so far from family & now we hope to create new traditions with Liliana. This alone is such a beautiful gift.
I am so thankful for two people I have never & will never get to meet. The first being my birth mother. A person for reasons I do not know surrendered being a mom to me. I do truly believe she allowed me to have opportunities that I'm not so sure I would have been exposed to. I am thankful that something in her heart allowed her to hand me over to caring people. I, being a mom now, don't think I could do that. Liliana is almost the same age I was when I came to the states. I'm pretty sure there is NO way I could part w/her now. Thank-you birth mom in making this decision that probably seemed bigger than you at the time, but I know that God guided you in the right direction.
Secondly to Maria Osorio Rodriguez, a mother that I will never get to meet either. I know she must have been a caring, selfless, wise women. Full of love & compassion for others. I know this because your son, my husband is so full of life because of you. I couldn't have crafted a more thoughtful, caring husband than the one that you nurtured. At times I feel like I know you from all the stories Eli tells me, but I recognize I was just not fortunate enough to get to know you personally. Thank-you for the person that you were.
Weight: 15 lbs 5 oz (85%) Height: 25 3/4 inches (95%) Head Cirum: 41.4 cm (65%)
Bad momma, she had her 4 month doctor's appointment last Friday on her actual 4 month birthday.
*At 4 months: ->Introduced her to the jumperoo & is beginning to take a liking to it ->Also introduced her to rice cereal, which she loves. Trying to keep up w/her appetite has been challenging. ->Playful, smiley & chatty
I try to live my life by God's grace, I've realized the more I surrender the more at peace I find myself to be. This is so much easier said than done, so when I get wound up & worry about the health of loved ones, its so easy to feel out control. So I try to refocus & come back to the 'healthy' place. God grant us grace as we wait for answers. I hope we feel even more at peace with what may come. Our life feels a little unsettled right now. I've been back to work now close to 8 weeks, Eli continues to work part time & our little sweet Lili continues to grow by leaps & bounds. We are blessed to have jobs, but I feel so strong in my heart that something will change in a big way.
The juggle of working, caring for Liliana, doing lay ministry & being a family unit & finding time to sleep is well challenging. But time passes & we are just so blessed to be Liliana's parents.
Everytime Thursday rolls around I wonder how could another week pass by. Thursday or Fridays really aren't the 'tgif' kind of days like they are for most folks. My schedule is all over the place & at this time in a good way. For instance I worked Sunday night...so Monday: consisted of getting through the first part of the day awake w/Liliana & then napping when Eli got home from BTs, which I did this time. Which doesn't always happen. Then Community Group Monday night. Tuesday: Awoke & met the gals for coffee @ BT, while in the process of getting a nice long run/walk in on the Tobacco Trail(TT). Then I actually picked up a few hours of work at the hospital, and headed there till 7pm. Working 4 hrs seemed like a drop in the bucket compared to the 12+ I typically do. Then I arrived home to an awake babe & a hungry husband & a tasty calzone. :) Wednesday: Brought along a roadtrip for Liliana & I, only to Raleigh but to a part we hadn't been before, I like exploring new places. We visited a friend that I work with & her two little kiddos. It was a fun afternoon, w/lunch @ Panera Bread & all. Ending the afternoon w/Eli & a walk on the TT. Thursday (today): Hanging out, quiet time w/Liliana & back to work tonight & tomorrow night. :) So as you see my M-F work week is squished into 2 nights, oh plus Sunday night too.
Is just shy of 4 months, tomorrow is truly the day. With a doctor's appointment and all. Fun, I like getting her stats. :) These days she's keeping us on our toes: *Some nights she sleeps straight through, ok only two of them & they were great. Otherwise she goes down around 8pm & wakes up around midnight to eat. I feed her, she falls asleep-the world is good. I go back to sleep, hear crying, I know I haven't been sleeping long & get up to feed her again, only to learn that only 45 mins. have passed since the last feeding~ugh, but she eats...& usually she sleeps till 5 or 6ish. She seems to sleep in longer streches for Eli, not sure if she's getting more from the bottle & thats why....hmmmmmm.... *Rolls over a lot & sleeps on her belly (she still can't find her way back to her back) *Loves to chat it up *And get this--she IS taking the bottle!!
How I love this time of year. This year, being a mom, brings new excitement, especially as a family. Eli & I love to hike & we now get to share it with our favorite lil person. Not so sure how much she enjoys it quite yet cause she sleeps most of the time. Guess its all that movement :)
She's enjoyed her new pack (thanks Kristy & Dave!)...we've been blessed with so many borrowed or items given to us.
This week we got to go on two great hikes. One was only 2 miles from us on the Tobacco Trail, but on the unpaved portion just south of Southpoint mall. The weather that day was amazing highs in the upper 70s, just beautiful & then yesterday we got to go for a longer hike @ the Eno River State Park. It was cooler & not as sunny, but still so gorgeous. Leaves all scattered about, the ones on the trees so vibrant with golds & reds. Eli & I could just walk & walk & I truly believe he would prefer living in nature more than anything else. We even got to see a dear along the way. If you haven't hiked the Eno, check it out. Its so peaceful to walk along the river....such a perfect few hours. :)
I don't want to dwell on what life has dealt us lately, our challenges are soooo small in comparison to the bigger scheme of things. Yesterdays sermon really led me in a good direction, I want to enjoy life & find more ways to give back, I feel like something bigger is coming for this Rodriguez clan, not sure what, but we're sure open to what He has in store for us.
On a lighter note, our baby is growing. I honestly don't know what week she's in, is that bad? For so long; through pregnancy then the first couple months I thought of everything in weeks all I know now is Nov.6th, next friday, she'll be 4 months. Its amazing to watch life develop so quickly, in bountiful steps. We are so truly blessed to be a witness to it everyday.
@ 3 1/2 months Liliana loves:
1. To roll onto her tummy, has been doing it for about 2 weeks now. Loves the new scenery in the prone position for well about 10 maybe 20 seconds, then crys till you flip her back or falls to sleep. 2.Sleeping longer @ night...(or maybe momma loves this) 3.Realizes her tongue makes fun raspberry noises against her lips. Dad is not appreciative of this during feeding time though 4.People watching 5.Urinating through cloth diapers...ugh (not momma's favorite)
So I'm wrapping this week up by working s night shift..its about 6am Saturday & I can't wait to get home to my family. :) This week has been challenging for so many reasons. I feel & know these are times when I should run to the bible for answers but honestly I'm beat; emotionally & physically--I'm spent! I've cried for what could of happened, what has happened & what may happen. Our health is this thing that is so unpredictable, when we have it & our healthy life is good-Great even! When we don't & its a loved one- it's gut wrenching.
I would do most anything to take away some of the pain that Eli is dealing with now, some of the nausea that the meds have brought on. Theres still so many unanswered questions as we await an appointment with a Neurologist....God, please lighten our hearts. They sure are heavy these days. :(
What do you do when your heart takes on too much & your mind doesn't know what to do with it all...? So I've pretty much established work is work, when I'm there I'm there & when I'm not--well I'm just so content to just be. To just be in our little three, to be with friends, to be loved & to give love back.
This weekend I received a frightening call from Eli while I was @ work & at the moment he was telling me what happened a million thoughts ran through my heart, but all my mind could think of was, "Alison you're at work, alarms going off...busy prevails," But I did know immediately I didn't want Eli to be alone in it or with our child alone. Don't get me wrong if I was just at an office job, or any other job than being responsible for lives I would've left ASAP, but its just not that easy in the setting that I work. You see Eli was diagnosed with childhood Epilepsy & for some reason, still in the 11+yrs that I've known him he's continued to have more. The last one that he had was in 2003 & well now Saturday. In 2005 Eli ran through a battery of tests, one in which they tried to elicit a seizure & he was seizure free. We thought we were in the "Clear".
I don't know what its like to have one. I do know when he comes to he's dazed, has an intense (for lack of a better word) headache & well frightened cause you never know if it could come on again. He often gets intense headaches but hadn't had a seizure like this for 6+yrs. I know he tries to down play how he's feeling & well is pretty selfless in his thoughts, but now we need to get some answers & figure this thing out. Its different now, I want answers for Liliana if not for you & I. I know you wouldn't want to be anything but safe for her & so lets bathe in this together and try to get all these feelings & emotions figured out.
Thank-you so much for loving on my husband this weekend. Coming without questions & just being there. I wanted to be here with my family, but so glad we have an extended family of friends around us.
So here we are and the 13th week has been well... TIRING. It's my third week of work, but I'm not even sure I'd say my exhaustion is related to that, its not helping but not the sole reason for it. So we were on a great groove of sleeping at night since about week 5 or 6. She would go down in the co-sleeper next to the bed & sleep for about 5 hrs. before the first feeding of the night. There were some hiccups along the way, but overall it's been lovely. THIS week not so much, she's been waking every 1-2 hours to eat & then not falling back to sleep so well at all. She tosses & turns in the co-sleeper almost to the point that I'm not sure how much longer she can be in it, for safety reasons. She still sleeps fairly well in the swing, but I am sooooo hesitant in putting her in it cause I feel like she should learn how to self-soothe and be able to sleep without that.....or perhaps I'm just completely wrong. Many people might ask why not in your bed, and like I've said before she's a mover & I don't sleep at all when she's in bed, I wish I could but I just don't. :( I think another reason why I make such a big deal about her night sleep is that she still doesn't sleep long stretches during the day consistently-10 minutes there, 20 minutes here. She still will sleep in the car seat or Moby but once you put her down, on a steady/non moving object-she's awake. I know this is just a season, but just want to remember it as well, maybe in a few weeks I'll be like what was she like @ 3 months......maybe?
I'm sentimental when it comes to birthdays, anniversaries & such. So of course working last night into today I couldn't wait to spend the day with you, even knowing I was a bit lacking in sleep. I love coming home to you whether you're awake or still asleep- I always pick you up for a feeding. You always welcome me with a smile. We are still adjusting to working & more work & not sleeping so much. For instance Monday began @ 8am for us, we did errands & then made our way home around lunchtime, Eli makes it home from work around 1pm (he's up @ 6:30am for work), we attempt to take naps in the afternoon to prepare for the long night. Me working overnight & Eli w/Liliana & her feedings. I slept maybe for an hour. Not sure about Eli. After working I come home & Eli immediately heads to work. I know we don't have all this figured out, but we are just taking each day as it comes. After being up for all those hours, I really don't want to count, its about 7:30pm now-ok 36 hrs give or take, I start to reflect about the last three months. How quickly they've gone, how much has changed & yet it feels like you were always a part of us. :) We love you!
When this momma is cooking & the baby is crying & you just don't pay attention to what you are doing. I was about as excited as one person can be about making dinner, actually I was. You see if you know me at ALL you know I DO NOT like to cook. But once in a while (a long while), I get the inkling to do so. So let me back up to the previous night, I think I need to include this so you know my mood d/t my lack of sleep. Liliana thought it was a good idea to eat via me every 2 hours last night. One feeding was even a double feeding meaning, she ate fell asleep, I put her in the co-sleeper to barely fall asleep, to then hear her stirring about 30 mins. later for more milk....wow. So awoke pretty tired. So it was rather perfect when Amy texted to meet @ Bean Traders this morning. My goal was to to go for a 'run' (walk/run) this am, but honestly coffee was calling.
So we had a good morning w/girl chat, then Target & lunch w/Eli at home, but then little babe didn't want to sleep. Again, still not the best day napper unless she's on me & today after doing the Moby @ BT & Target I needed a break---her & I were sweaty, but me stubborn me thinks no A/c for me cause its Fall! :) Well she went down for maybe 20 minutes & I honestly tried to sleep during this time & then remembered my ingredients for quiche were calling my name & well the afternoon was passing & we have Community Group tonight.
So Liliana & I came downstairs (her well fed) & me still tired & ALL she wanted to do is scream w/tears. This makes me sad, frustrated & worn out, but me, stubborn me am still determined to make dinner. So I put her down on the play mat, still screaming, me talking to her from a distance trying to quickly make dinner. I was excited cause there were two pie crusts. Double dinner, yeah!! So I separate the pie crusts, get all my ingredients prepped & wondered why there was an xtra pie tin. Without thinking about it again I poured the contents equally btw. the pie crusts & put one into the oven easily & went to lift the other one up & that was a no go. SO the tin that was to the right of the oven was suppose to be under the crust w/filling to the left of the oven....Needless to say I made a big ole mess & well now there is only ONE Quiche... Now there is a hot mamma & a naked baby on the play mat. I refused again stubbornly NOT to turn the A/C back on, but she's kicking & playing happily now, and well tears turned into smiles once again for baby & me....
I am in between modes lately of being a wife, mommy, maid and worker bee. I returned to work this week & well....its work. I'm not sure what I make of it thus far. I was challenged while @ work & I know that will continue to be the case. I like the challenge at times & other times I just wish I knew more. It was different being there & thinking I have a child @ home. I felt blessed that I have a healthy child but also felt torn to see all those sick newborns on our unit.
All I could think of is what does God have in store for me, where does He see me in the next few years. How will mommy me & RN me mesh?
Side note: Liliana @ 11 weeks is
1. Intentionally grabbing items hanging from her play mat 2. Turning almost onto her side 3. Active, smiling & just a lot of fun to be around 4. Sleep- Still sleeping in a 5 hr burst when you 1st put her down at night, then feedings are usually every 2-3 hrs. Some naps during the day, but still quick at that.
So this is the 'Last Week' before work. Doesn't that sound just DREADFUL, but honestly I don't feel like that. I've been getting the, 'Oh back to work' sad face from many people. I appreciate it, but at the same time I don't feel all down in the dumps about going back. Maybe because: A. I like my job B. I miss a different kind of mind stimulating challenge C. Do hope that my brain can still multi-task in that manner & hey maybe it can do it EVEN better
Parenting is tough, challenging, exhausting, but its also amazing, mind stimulating & well fun (or funny-sometimes you just have to laugh cause otherwise you might cry).
This going back to work thing has been on my mind for quite some time, I've discussed it w/friends, at community group & of course w/Eli. It will be a challenge for he & I. I think we're being good at remembering its a season of our life & its not forever. We'll have to juggle two jobs, lay ministry, family life & our social life. Not that we have super duper busy social life, but I count museum trips or hanging out w/the girls or guys as that kind of time. I want to NOT make excuses as I'm tired not to indulge in this time w/friends or more importantly w/each other. Work is something we do as means to make more time w/family & friends. I feel fortunate, extremely blessed to be in a career that allows me to do this. I am cutting back from 3 days a week every week, 36 hours-to 3 days one week-2 days the next. This seems do-able & a lot less when you cut out just one day. This means I will work 10 days a month compared to someone who works 20 days (5 days a week). Don't get me wrong the 20 day person is home for dinner most every night & doesn't have to do overngiht shifts, but that is where me-the unconventional person doesn't mind it-for NOW anyways...this too could change one day.
So as I've been saying to many I am back to work Monday night, please pray for Eli & Liliana for as much as they've been together & Eli does such an amazing job w/her, she is well feisty @ night & loves the boob to fall asleep. I know there isn't a challenge Eli isn't up for but I'd prefer that spending time w/ our daughter isn't one of them, or at least that it doesn't have to be that way.
Note: Liliana @ 10 weeks is FUN!!
*She wakes up in the morning kicking & laughing in the co-sleeper, we spend time just watching her wake up with so much joy. She's been doing this for a couple weeks now. *Sleep overnight still is good. She goes down between 9-10 pm & eats for the 1st time btw. 2-4 am. (If we get her to bed later-due to parents malfunction-she fights it & is not a happy camper). *Sleeps about 2 hours at most during the day. Apparently still doesn't like day naps, but only if we're moving-the car, or in the Moby *Is well just lovely- she smiles, coos & LOVES her play mat--THANKS Micah (& Amy of course)
Moby time w/mom:
Liliana & Micah time:
See Micah-I love the mat- I can do tummy time & check all this fun stuff out.
My mind is a rambling amount of thoughts..this how I think, how I speak often. I miss my friend already, how can this be. Three nights out of 365 is not enough. I laugh a lot, I miss her- I love her. How is it that we got to meet but now have lived apart so much longer than we have lived together. I don't quite know how to thank-you for coming here, meeting my daughter. My heart is full right now. Its midnight I know I should go to bed, I need to go to bed. I am my daughters nourishment & she will be summoning me in the next three hours, but I don't want to forget & have it go unrecognized, how much I enjoyed your days here. From the time we got you @ the airport, I was relaxed & didn't worry, but enjoyed our Saturday together. Hanging out- enjoying you, enjoying my daughter. Then being able to share a Sunday & our life w/you. Its that simple you partook in what is so important to me. A Sunday, waking, walking, sharing, feeding, enjoying this day together. Sleeping daughter, awake baby...to church we must go baby. See daddy, sit, listen & let Him wash through you. I enjoyed that morning together. Tiring out our Lili, dancing/running man Lili. More sleeping Lili. Football, food, more laughs. Then Monday. My day, walks w/Lili (was that a deer?), food together, more walks-waiting for Eli in Raleigh. This was our time. Oh Sushi time...E-Harmony laughs. Knowing, praying & loving every minute of it. I can't wait to meet him, I know-I know he is out there for you Sarah. God is too Good to let an amazing women, walk alone. I love you my friend. :) Safe travels.
So as per my last post Ms. Lili-bug didn't ended up taking the bottle Sunday night. We tried, meaning Eli full heartedly tried again Tuesday. He did the whole bath routine alone with her, in hopes to distract & conquer I think. The bath went well, I was listening the whole time, w/the bedroom door closed...smiling mostly. Then they made their way upstairs, pj time. I kept saying, "Please take it, please take it..." Then it started crying & crying & more crying....how much can a mamma take, my heart aches when she cries like that. But he sure tried, trying to talk to her while she was crying...walking around to calm her down & trying again. I lost track of time of how long it lasted, I made my way down stairs & so did they...he handed her over & she just latched on & fed like she hadn't eaten in days. She didn't look at me & then I felt worse, probably all in my mind but I just felt bad.
Felt bad for her, for eli, for me having to go back to work. Even if I didn't have to go back to work I would eventually want to leave the house for an extended amount of time in hopes that she would take the bottle. My work schedule has me away from home for about 14 hrs., thats a Long time not to eat.
After she ate she was sooo awake (kind of unusual), so we placed her in the crib to hang out. She hasn't lasted in there much more than 30 mins. in the last 9 weeks. Well, tonight she fell asleep & didn't peep to eat till 2:30am, she went down by 9pm. Wow...
Then Eli tried again, with the bottle then a medicine dropper....Again neither took. When she awakens to eat overnight she pretty much eats & then goes back to sleep. NOPE...she all out cried AGAIN...so I again cried, sitting on the edge of the bed, as I listened to Eli patiently in the nursery w/her....this weighs on my & eli's heart.... So here I am @ 5am, still awake from the 2:30am feed...ugh....I did some retail therapy, chatted online w/another late night awake friend, sent out some emails & now realizing her 2 month appt. @ the Pediatrician's is in 3 hrs...I should really get some more sleep eye. Liliana, Eli----we will get through this. :)
I never thought NOT feeding my baby & allowing someone else to do so would be so hard. So its about 8:30 pm Sunday night & Eli is upstairs with Liliana trying to bottle feed. By the sounds of things, raspy crying(ongoing)--it is not going so well.
We've decided: 1.We will try one bottle feed per day prior to me going back to work (in 2 weeks) 2.I will remain out of the picture, hence them being upstairs 3.Its NOT impossible....We know she will take the bottle, she has 3x already
Exception to rule #2-This is PROOF though!!
Well they are back downstairs & well it was a no go for now. We also read that its best to separate attempts at bottle feeding & breast feeding--to do something completely different in between so the baby isn't rewarded for not taking the bottle....Eli has got some patience. This won't be any easier when I'm @ work for 12+ hrs.... :(
Ok, so my first post of this just got deleted..bummer. What I blogged about already was that we've all been sick. First Liliana, then me & now Eli. Lili's cold peaked on Wednesday. That night she was so uncomfortable sleeping; coughing, sneezing & thrashing around in the co-sleeper next to the bed, that I just laid awake all night watching her. By 3amish I got her up & we went into the guest bedroom, there I felt like I could at least lie w/her & nurse her on demand to comfort her & we could both be sick in there & allow Eli to rest (& not get sick--so much for this). It seemed to work better, but it was still so hard to watch her in so much discomfort. I was needless to say, a walking zomby on Thursday.
Eli thankfully picked up some babies vapor rub & we all sat in the bathroom for a little steam that night. That helped, I was able to suction quite a bit out. I chose to sleep w/her again in the guest room for more comfort feeds for her, this time it was less frequent. Still a long night as I find myself unable to sleep soundly when she's sick.
Friday was better & today even better. She awoke smiling & cooing in the co-sleeper today. I got to sleep in the guest bedroom ALONE by choice. Eli was on baby watch last night & I got to sleep...yeah for sleep.
The other item we attempted to do this week was bottle feed. We learned quickly we should NOT do this with a sick babe & aborted that mission...until this am, when she awoke all bright eyed & smiling. I pumped & eli fed. Well, it was not that simple. Eli tried to feed, she would not have it. She played with the nipple in her mouth, then forcefully pushed it away. Now, she has taken it two times before so we thought we were in the clear. I go back to work in 2 short weeks. We just read up on what to do...so here we go, please God, guide our little babe in options other than the boob. :)
Ok, so I decided the plan for the day was to try to get this 8 week old babe asleep in the crib, or at least continue working on it. Perhaps some progress today. Well, she's been upstairs oh, lets see maybe 10 mins. & I think she's chatty but on the verge of wait for it---yeap TEARS & full out crying....ok, baby steps Alison.
Tired baby + Crib = Sleep (or at least it should in my mind). But she's telling me something & so I must go....
....Just came back down stairs.... This is how it went: Picked up babe, Lili did a few lip quivers & pouts-tears included, little hands grabbed my robe (yes still in pj's), thick spit up on me & her, eyes rolled back & lids closed-asleep baby....
Why do I get this itchiness to get stuff done or do something..but never know where to start. Like today, here we are its 11:30am already & I haven't gotten anything done, WAIT I'll take that back I've fed Lili 2x & did the dishes, but I want to do something more than that. I'm always up for an adventure, a drive- a new place to explore.
Part of me is thinking when I start work in 2 1/2 weeks I won't be motivated to do anything at all besides work. I feel like I have to fit what I want to get 'done' before work is here. This I'm sure won't be true, or perhaps for the first few weeks it will be- until we find a new way of fitting work into our lives again. Truly though I can't think like that cause life won't stop cause work starts again. Work will be work & our life will continue outside of that.
Ok so I had this Ramen-Cabbage salad for the first time @ the V-21 Jordan Lake Baptism & I couldn't stop thinking about it since. Yesterday we made it & YUM!! So I hope I don't over load on it cause it does have cabbage. My understanding is that cabbage & baby (via mom's breast milk) is not a good mix. Its not a ton of cabbage but maybe enough to mess with her tummy...we'll find out.
I love this salad cause it's crunchy & cold, it has almonds & sunflower seeds & well instead of doing as much as cabbage as the recipe calls for we substituted sliced carrots. Mel: please tell me this is somewhat healthy, my appetite is like ten fold now.....seriously--is it ok?
Anywho, a bowl is sitting next to me, asking to be eaten.....
*First time she slept in the co-sleeper all night, w/o us having to use the swing.
*First time she smiled & laughed (at least more consistently)
*First time she took a bottle
*First time she was babysat. Almost took her to the dentist, wasn't thinking & figured Eli or I could watch her...well we BOTH had appointments at the same time. Thanks Amy!! :)
*First time she was able to console her self to sleep by gnawing on her hands, pretty cute. Now she does it, when its not even bed time.
So we're not even at the 2 month mark & there are so many changes already. She's out of newborn clothes (has been since about week 4), wears 3-6 months (lots of 6 months stuff). Its weird you look forward to when they grow up for more interaction, but I'm also quite aware how quickly this part is going by. She still loves her Moby, but soon I imagine sleeping curled up on me will also be a distant memory.
Our days now consist of her awaking in the am to eat & then hang out in bed a bit longer. She coos & is quite chatty at this time. Then our morning walk, then to return to feed again. Baby first, then mamma. Our days our w/friends, getting stuff done around the house or appointments outside of the house before I head back to work in 25 days (not that I'm counting). Right now bedtime is nice, if she's not TOO tired. We rock, listen to music/ or read a book prior to her last feed & then down in the co-sleeper. She sleeps 1st in about a 4-5 hr stretch, then awakens every 2-3hrs. to eat. Not too bad :)t