I Cried Today...

My tears fell unexpectedly today. Could it be a lack of sleep or just that my heart realized the sacrifices I have to make as a working mom. I awoke from my sleep to see Liliana being placed into someone elses car & leaving for the afternoon. Thankfully Eli got a catering gig for this afternoon & thankfully our friends could watch her for the afternoon. That being said I realized I won't see her at all today. I don't think I have ever gone more than a work shift w/o seeing, holding, kissing, nursing her.
...So I cried, is that silly. My heart just felt overwhelming sad. I realize everyday more & more that she is this gift, this wonderful beautiful gift from God.

So we're, as you see, still trying to figure this thing out. Me working, Eli potentially working & caring for Liliana. Thus far it has worked, but if & when he starts working more. Will I be able to back off from work a little more. What will this all look like. For now Eli is such a good daddy @ home w/Liliana, whether I'm here 'trying' to sleep or actually at work. They have a great time together & when I'm off of work, well its nice to have so much time w/Eli...but somethings gotta give soon.

I'm onto my 3rd night tonight & unlike most people I can't sleep straight through when I get home in the am. I usually crash hard when I get home from about 8am-noonish, I get up, have some Liliana time & eat & then head back to sleep in order to get up again around 5pm to get to work that night. Our schedules are not perfect, but its what is sustaining us for now. Who knows what the future will bring. But for now I will just enjoy what time I have w/my family.


Or you can eat your hair bow, Liliana

9 Months (& 1 week)

9 Months, when you think of your pregnancy or at least when I did, it seemed sooo long, just too long to wait to meet your baby. I had to get through fall, winter, spring & summer had just began when I was soooo ready to meet her.
Now she's been with us for 9 months & it seems like she always has & yet somehow its gone by so fast.

@ 9 Months you are:

-19 lbs 2 oz
-29 1/2 inches long
-You've had about 5 colds already, including an earache & conjunctivitis & multiple temps.- so goes the life of a new immune system
-You are still cruising along the furniture
-Recently are standing freely once you let go of the furniture or us
-Trying more & more foods, but still loves to nurse
-Still not teeth, but is drooling like no one's business
-Has added 'm' to your vocabulary---& it sounds like m-amma instead of the ongoing babba & dadda. I love it.
-Beginning to know what 'No' means & doesn't quite like it
-Likes to explore just about anything

WE love you 9 months & 1 week Liliana. :)

Quiet House

This is not a common occurrence in our household right now. Liliana is in bed, Eli is too. I am up in this quiet house. In the last few months our home has been anything but quiet. I've heard drilling, hammering, sanding, falling, crying, laughing, coughing & some more crying...& these are not in any kind of order. This house is tidy, painted, caulked, scrubbed, de-cluttered, landscaped, cleaned & the list could go on.
And now there is a 'For Sale' sign up. I can't believe I haven't taken a photo of it yet, I would except its 10:30pm right now, so well- I won't. One of my close friends asked me if I was sad about putting the house up for sale, I immediately said, 'NO'. Really anything but sad. At times its tough not knowing whats gonna happen, but honestly more often than not, right now I'm at peace knowing we are doing the best thing for our family. We know why we are doing this, and what our goals are. It feels right. She thought I would be sad for so many sentimental reasons, I'm joyful for all the amazing things we've been blessed with while in our home, but I'm not sad.
Please bring on the buyers, we're ready for ya!!

We are UP for the Fight...

I think. So they are there, hiding underneath by sweet baby's gums. She lays with a pitiful cry, we pace wondering what to do. I nurse, we console & hope she will sleep again, we pace some more. We give teething rings, I nurse...then she crys. Motrin as our last resort, perhaps that will help...
Our baby is not happy. It doesn't help that she has a cold too. She's a drooly mess, our little babe --those darn teeth, what else can we blame....?

Sick babies to sick baby

So how & why did I work 5 of the last 6 nights. First we thought we'd be going away this weekend so I scheduled myself that way. Secondly caffeine usually gets me through, lattes I love you. The first two nights not so bad, the 3rd night was the worst...last night #5, well I had my eye on the prize--> 8 wonderful days off!!
I kind of remember my ride home, I don't remember my head hitting the pillow. I do remember Eli bringing Lili in & stating she wouldn't eat--no bottle, no food, no cheerios...nothing. But she did nurse & so our baby is sick~again. :(
I slept a little more after that & she took a 3 hr nap. Then her & I hung out downstairs as Eli resumed prepping the house for the big day.
As we hung out she would crawl to a toy, seem interested, whimper a little & then crawl back to me. Sometimes she didn't make it back to me & just stretched out on the floor as if she wanted to go back to sleep...sad. She was beat & hot. So with more nursing, Tylenol & a little more nursing she was beginning to seem more herself & then apparently she needed another nap.
Her day just ended ~6:30pm by falling asleep in my lap.
Tomorrow we go in for her 9 month well baby check up. I look forward to these appointments-finding out if she's met her milestones & what we have to look forward to. I just pray she feels better...its just too sad when she's not her giggly, silly little self.
Sorry you're sick Lili-poo.