Broken Record

So as per my last post Ms. Lili-bug didn't ended up taking the bottle Sunday night. We tried, meaning Eli full heartedly tried again Tuesday. He did the whole bath routine alone with her, in hopes to distract & conquer I think. The bath went well, I was listening the whole time, w/the bedroom door closed...smiling mostly. Then they made their way upstairs, pj time. I kept saying, "Please take it, please take it..." Then it started crying & crying & more crying....how much can a mamma take, my heart aches when she cries like that.
But he sure tried, trying to talk to her while she was crying...walking around to calm her down & trying again. I lost track of time of how long it lasted, I made my way down stairs & so did they...he handed her over & she just latched on & fed like she hadn't eaten in days. She didn't look at me & then I felt worse, probably all in my mind but I just felt bad.

Felt bad for her, for eli, for me having to go back to work. Even if I didn't have to go back to work I would eventually want to leave the house for an extended amount of time in hopes that she would take the bottle. My work schedule has me away from home for about 14 hrs., thats a Long time not to eat.

After she ate she was sooo awake (kind of unusual), so we placed her in the crib to hang out. She hasn't lasted in there much more than 30 mins. in the last 9 weeks. Well, tonight she fell asleep & didn't peep to eat till 2:30am, she went down by 9pm. Wow...

Then Eli tried again, with the bottle then a medicine dropper....Again neither took. When she awakens to eat overnight she pretty much eats & then goes back to sleep. NOPE...she all out cried AGAIN...so I again cried, sitting on the edge of the bed, as I listened to Eli patiently in the nursery w/her....this weighs on my & eli's heart....
So here I am @ 5am, still awake from the 2:30am feed...ugh....I did some retail therapy, chatted online w/another late night awake friend, sent out some emails & now realizing her 2 month appt. @ the Pediatrician's is in 3 hrs...I should really get some more sleep eye.
Liliana, Eli----we will get through this. :)