The Ticker

So the Ticker on the left hand side of my blog kept me well informed for the last 9+ months. And so I saw that it read 0 yesterday. And for some reason I thought it may disappear, but today it reads 1..?!?!? HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE?
I've past the due date, or shall I say our little one has passed the due date. I know some people might be thinking well did you know for sure when you got pregnant & the answer is yes.
So does the ticker know something me & little wee doesn't know. Could tomorrow be the day. July 1st, I like the sound of that. The first day of the month.
Otherwise, our 41+ week appt. is next Thursday, ugh. YES, Thursday. They'll do a Non-Stress Test (NST) to see how the baby's movements & heart are, as well as an ultra sound to check out the babe & its lofty home (amniotic fluid & placenta).
When they told us yesterday that my body hadn't progressed at all I wasn't surprised, I haven't had any contractions, but was disappointed. IT was good to find out though, cause it gave us a goal. We took a longer walk last night, amongst other things :) & I slept in this am & feel good. So really what more could I ask for. I know we'll meet this child in less than 2 weeks. :)
I'm not keen on having to wait to till the end of next week to find out whats going on inside, but as long as I feel baby movements--I have to trust in what IS happening inside. Sometimes Easier said, than Done. :)

Is this really me?

So one of my good friends @ work, sent me an email & said she's impressed that I have so much patience. Honestly, this is NOT typically me. God has granted an abundant amount of patience & grace to endure this pregnancy, I am quite sure of that. I am typically NOT your most patient person....I think the last few years I have become a lot more patient, but if you knew me 10+ years ago, you would know I was always the eager beaver.
Now, yes I've bee waiting 10 months for this baby to be born, but at this point-- at the 10th month mark, there is not much I can do, or say to encourage this baby along. Yes, I've been active, eating, drinking the 'right' things, but honestly I know the rest is in God's hands. I feel fortunate at this point--I am off from work & getting paid!! I've worked since I was 15 yrs old, often holding 2 jobs. So to NOT work is quite the luxury in my eyes.
Now, don't get me wrong- if I start getting close to the 1+ post dates mark, I might be posting something very different, but at this vantage point I just need to take the hours as they come. :)

1 yr.

How does one year creep, & fly by so quickly & yet be full of so many new experiences. June 23rd, 2008--was the day I took my first pregnancy test, ever. As a woman this was a life changing event for me. First, if it was negative I would have been sad for the life that I thought that we created but didn't come to fruition. OR I could have been happy for an amazing journey that we were about to beckon on. The latter came true.
I won't forget where I was, what we had just done, how I felt buying the test kit & all the overwhelming thoughts after seeing the positive test. The days that followed were immediately tiring, emotional, & tiring. As the weeks past & to what we thought were normal blood testing, truly wasn't. In retrospect, I see it was more out of concern from the doctors, as I truly know now, my HcG levels weren't climbing as much as they should have been. All I knew was that I felt pregnant. Life was blooming inside of me. By the end of July it was determined that it actually wasn't & so the birth of this blog began.
I didn't know where to go with all the thoughts, feelings I had. I had a tremendous support of people around me, but was having a hard enough time wrestling w/the emotions on my own, w/my husband. I really didn't have many words to say initially. I mostly just remember going to bed crying, getting up to cry...as time passed it did get a little easier, but still remains all so close to my heart.
Now, as we approach our due date with this baby, my heart still fragile--I still desperately pray that this is a healthy baby.

Least Expected

Life, death. Friends, enemies. Black, white. Happy, sad.
I had a great afternoon doing nothing, well hanging out with friends which was nice. I didn't run through the last items on my to do list or run around doing errands or even go to work for that matter. We just hung out & had girl time, it was nice. Thanks Ladies. I felt refreshed from it & as I drove home I listened to my voice mail & to my dismay received a message from a friend from work about my primary. She said he was really sick, I just took care of him on Monday night. But this awful disease overtakes neonates so quickly its frightening. My patient got Necrotizing Enterocolitis (NEC), death of your intestinal tissue. It is often inoperable & he was/is dying. My mind immediately felt horrible, here I was having this pleasant afternoon & he is dying. When I come to moments like these I struggle & really need assurance from God.

Sweet blessings J.A., on your very brief life of one month.

Reality Check

I've been pregnant for 269 days, I've gained 45 lbs (wow-learned this yesterday), & there will be a baby in our house soon.
I feel we are as prepared as two adults can be, we realized last night that our life will not ever be the same again. That this new person will take center stage for some time. I'm not saying that we have to forget who we are as a couple but, come on we will be trying to figure out this new baby for some time. I know sleep won't be perfect, if at all & the house won't be perfect, but this baby will be amazing in so many ways.
My body is starting to progress; I'm ~75% effaced, but not dilated at all yet, bummer. I'm thirsty ALL the time & honestly I think it will be weird NOT to be pregnant any more, but at the same time look forward to my body prior to pregnancy. I'm not even talking about my pre-prenancy weight but the lack of discomfort/pain will be nice. I move different now. I know I will experience new 'discomforts' after the baby is born, but to one day be able to cross my legs, bend over w/o psyching myself up for it or roll over in bed w/o planning it out first will be nice.
Now, I'm not trying to complain but just wanted to put it down in black & white so one day when I try to remember what it was like to be pregnant, I can come back & revisit this. :)

Sitting, not a friendly option

Its become apparrent that someone has moved down into my groin. Little Rodriguez is sitting low these days, or at least it feels like it. Sitting & driving now @ 37 weeks is not so comfortable. At times I feel bad, and my thoughts are,"Am I hurting the babe, because this sitting position sure doesn't feel right, right now."

37 weeks, the count is down to about 20 days, 9 days of work. This is craziness to me, so much so that my mind can't quite process it. Our family, me & Eli for 11 yrs is going to be a trio...:) this makes me smile. I look forward to how we will be as a family of three.

Babe, things you have to look forward to.
*I like spontaneity--I like just driving or exploring new places/things on a whim
*I like quiet time, to just sit, think, blog, journal...to be in my thoughts
*I like beautiful things, I take a deep breath when I see a sunset or the ocean or just a sweet flower
*I am sentimental....
*Your dad loves to talk, he likes to discuss world politics, religion, food....just about anything
*And the best is that your dad cooks & does it w/his heart & does it well
*Your dad has the best heart & I can't wait for you to meet him :) (ok tears....)

Note to Self

Self:
"You are going to be a mom. Well, ya I know that-my body, heart & soul knows that, but my mind is finally catching up."
Its one thing to see your waist expand beyond normal measurements & bodily functions change & heartburn accompanies most meals, pee trips are 2-3 per night now, & moving side to side--is a well thought out process, but to seriously think & really wrap your mind around the idea that there is a human being, a full fledged, little me & Eli, growing inside of me is breath taking.
I am so little relative to all of this. I just throw my arms up & praise God for what he has truly created, & just realize I am here to serve & be faithful in this journey. It is hard for me to say, "baby, I love you & I can't wait to meet you," aloud without becoming choked up.

So today we had our 36 week appointment, it went well. An exam & a swab to test for Group B Strep. No weight change-crazy, urine & BP good--check, check. The exam showed that my cervix is thinning, but no dilation yet & I've yet to feel any Braxton Hicks yet-- We'll see, I'm awaiting them, like a child awaits the boogie monster @ night, you think they are there, but maybe its not really so bad.
Now weekly appointments & I've been telling the babe after next Sunday, we can truly do this @ anytime...:)

Let's revisit the TO DO List
1.Need to print Birth plan
2.Pack hospital bag
3.Find Pediatrician (Still--yes)
4.Give medical leave paperwork to Dr.s (oops forgot this am)
5.Get car seat
6.Work 11 more days of work