Monday, August 3, 2009

Defeated

Do I truly have time to blog right now, babe is crying.

Ok-what do I do.

1.Awoke & fed her about 1 hr ago.
2.Burped
3.Changed diaper
4.Came down stairs for new scenery
5.Walk around, chat w/her
6.Placed in vibrating/music making chair

RESULT...still crying baby

7. Try to feed again....fell asleep!
8. 3 mins. passed---awake baby, crying baby

As my last hour has passed like this, I seems like this was our entire 3 day weekend.

I feel so defeated by this baby, what do I do?
I love on her for sure, but when that doesn't help--I just feel helpless & beat.

I am a person who likes to have answers & if I don't them I'm comforted in knowing I can get the answer in a book/online. But w/this I am not always able search out the answer....
After 4 weeks I've realized- when things seem like they can't get much worse they either do or soon after get much better.

(couple mins. into this blog, she fell asleep again in vibrating chair....)

So this weekend, unlike last when we did a road trip, was spent catching up on sleep, cleaning when we could & trying to figure out baby. This as Eli knows frustrates me, I like to be going; getting stuff done, seeing things, doing things. All the time @ home feels like wasted time. I have to remind myself this isn't forever, and for right now this is what we are doing.
Unfortunately, Eli wasn't feeling well either, which was worrisome, I always jump to the worst case scenario, after doing completely NOTHING yesterday, he said he was feeling better. He's infamous for pushing himself...so we'll see.

2 comments:

Mama Goose said...

Gas? Hot? Cold? Expressing emotion? Who knows? Babies are amazing things. I know everybody tells you "it gets better", but I think it does. :)

And sometimes you do literally everything in the whole entire world and they just cry. They just do for some weird reason that no one knows. Maybe it is to humble us and remind us that we are not all powerful and all knowing.

Time at home seems quiet, boring, and like you ought to be productive. But it is also time to bond as a family and your "job" right now is mothering. And physically healing. And I can always come over if you need a new person to look at.

Colin and Holly said...

ah, a good reason to be around someone else--someone else can deal with your kid for a while! you're doing a great job; the first month is crazy!!