Some Firsts: Weeks 6-7

So the last week has brought about many firsts.

*First time she slept in the co-sleeper all night, w/o us having to use the swing.

*First time she smiled & laughed (at least more consistently)

*First time she took a bottle

*First time she was babysat. Almost took her to the dentist, wasn't thinking & figured Eli or I could watch her...well we BOTH had appointments at the same time. Thanks Amy!! :)

*First time she was able to console her self to sleep by gnawing on her hands, pretty cute. Now she does it, when its not even bed time.


So we're not even at the 2 month mark & there are so many changes already. She's out of newborn clothes (has been since about week 4), wears 3-6 months (lots of 6 months stuff). Its weird you look forward to when they grow up for more interaction, but I'm also quite aware how quickly this part is going by. She still loves her Moby, but soon I imagine sleeping curled up on me will also be a distant memory.

Our days now consist of her awaking in the am to eat & then hang out in bed a bit longer. She coos & is quite chatty at this time. Then our morning walk, then to return to feed again. Baby first, then mamma. Our days our w/friends, getting stuff done around the house or appointments outside of the house before I head back to work in 25 days (not that I'm counting). Right now bedtime is nice, if she's not TOO tired. We rock, listen to music/ or read a book prior to her last feed & then down in the co-sleeper. She sleeps 1st in about a 4-5 hr stretch, then awakens every 2-3hrs. to eat. Not too bad :)t

Another.....

Was she really this small.....Ok, time has to freeze!

I am a Mother!

~July 7th


I can say this with some confidence now, 6 weeks ago I was a bit lacking in that department. I feel like I have some composure now. I feel as if I was 'all over the place.' Crying, laughing, more crying while laughing...wow I was full of so many emotions. I worried a lot about Liliana for so many reasons; why is she crying, why is she eating again, should she be eating again, is she gonna sleep, is she sleeping too much (well maybe not this one too much), is she cold/warm, is she breathing, should she be breathing like that, why is her nose runny, what does that rash mean...and simply I just CAN'T stop looking at her for all the amazingly good reasons!

Now, she sleeps, awakens to either eat or just wants company & likes to 'coo' & smile. It feels natural now, I don't feel so wound up. I thank Eli for being so supportive & for my friends for putting up w/my scatter brained 'new mommy-ness'. :) Or simply just walking along side me!! I really needed it (& need it :) )



August 20th

Momma's Milk

I pumped for the first time on Tuesday. And I have been thinking about these 5 oz. of milk ever since. For me it signifies; freedom, guilt, amazement, sustenance, joy, pain, confusion & sadness.
I am so thankful that my body has the capacity to provide nourishment for her. She was a quick learner, like a baby that had been practicing in the womb. It was never the act of breastfeeding that was hard (ok-yes my nipples were sore in the beginning-like someone took a cheese grater to them), but more so the number of times-especially in the first weeks. At times it was an hourly event. With the lack of sleep I had endured I was at my wits end, but now its much more natural (except if she's tired~she fights feeding at that point).
Now, that I'm past the 6 week post partum mark, I can pump & she can be fed a bottle. Have we done that yet, no-do I look forward to it~ well....YES & No.
This takes it away from me, its kinda weird, but at the same time I do think Eli deserves to share those feeding moments w/her even if it is not breastfeeding. I've provided her all her nourishment since she's been born & before. I will still do so, even if its given to her by her daddy. These thoughts just keep dancing in my head, I hope she takes the bottle, what if she doesn't....that will be another hurtle to figure out..

Sleep or lack there of....

This is our baby ~ All cute & cuddly: Our baby w/o sleep:
How do we get said baby to sleep:

Glyder Stroller Moby Momma's milk Carseat End result should be:
Do these things always work, NO--what I've realized is that we have a stubborn babe in this house, or at least one that as of recent loves her night sleep, but is not keen on napping. Its not that she doesn't nap at all, but they are more like cat naps. When you think she's down for a while, you hear the cries in the background--of an awaking little babe. Could this truly be my child??? I love to nap, Eli loves to nap. Liliana is NOT in favor of naps....

This is what she's like when she's waking up.... :)
still pretty cute

Happy Birthday to...

1 month (8-6-09)

Sunshiny Day

Awoke early, 9ish. This is early for us, me & little monkey, often don't see daylight till 10ish. We laid there a bit & then was motivated to take a walk. First official walk w/the stroller. We did try one evening but after 5 mins. we recognized that it wasn't going to be successful.
Decided to use the stroller, a little too hot & sticky for the Moby. So by the time I figure out how to adjust it for it for her, made sure she ate & was changed it was about 10:15...not too shabby.
We walked for about 45 mins. I decided to take the trail, lots of shade there. As I made my way back home I realized this is exactly what I needed. I was sweaty, yet refreshed. Exercise, movement is such a big part of who I am, how I relish in how it makes me feel. I hope she does too one day, I plan on being active with her.
She was not so sure about the stroller at first though, letting out a few yelps & hollers but as movement took place, she settled & we were cruising.

It was a good time. I didn't feel defeated today. We then came back & had our first tummy time. All in all it was a good morning, all happening before noon. :)

Now dinner is approaching & we continued to have a good afternoon. A 3 hr nap for LIliana (crazy) & play time w/dad too. Now I remind myself that not everyday w/be this seemless, but I do enjoy when they are.

Our evenings are still a little hairy, she struggles & fights going down to sleep in the evening. We start around 9:30/10ish~ when we start feeling beat, but she's yet to actually "go to sleep" before midnight. Its been the norm for us to take turns trying to get her to sleep. She'll fall asleep when we walk around w/her or when she's in the Moby, but then breaks down & wakes up full force crying when we put her down.
I know she's a baby & we are just the parents, trying mesh as one. :)

Defeated

Do I truly have time to blog right now, babe is crying.

Ok-what do I do.

1.Awoke & fed her about 1 hr ago.
2.Burped
3.Changed diaper
4.Came down stairs for new scenery
5.Walk around, chat w/her
6.Placed in vibrating/music making chair

RESULT...still crying baby

7. Try to feed again....fell asleep!
8. 3 mins. passed---awake baby, crying baby

As my last hour has passed like this, I seems like this was our entire 3 day weekend.

I feel so defeated by this baby, what do I do?
I love on her for sure, but when that doesn't help--I just feel helpless & beat.

I am a person who likes to have answers & if I don't them I'm comforted in knowing I can get the answer in a book/online. But w/this I am not always able search out the answer....
After 4 weeks I've realized- when things seem like they can't get much worse they either do or soon after get much better.

(couple mins. into this blog, she fell asleep again in vibrating chair....)

So this weekend, unlike last when we did a road trip, was spent catching up on sleep, cleaning when we could & trying to figure out baby. This as Eli knows frustrates me, I like to be going; getting stuff done, seeing things, doing things. All the time @ home feels like wasted time. I have to remind myself this isn't forever, and for right now this is what we are doing.
Unfortunately, Eli wasn't feeling well either, which was worrisome, I always jump to the worst case scenario, after doing completely NOTHING yesterday, he said he was feeling better. He's infamous for pushing himself...so we'll see.