So many people fall on hard times. I could compare our hard times with others or I could compare our challenges with other fluffy, fun filled lives that I admire. This can begin to get sooo destructive.
We seem to be in this season of crash & burn. I've tried at times to separate myself from all the wants...job for Eli, house to sell, healthy bodies, pay down bills. But honestly it hasn't helped. I feel if we actually seem to be on a better path something else happens. How do I see God in this?
I've had an out pouring of emotions lately--and when I get this way I wonder why. I think initially it all feels like way tooo much for me to handle alone, so I try & turn to Him. And for a while things seem better but then something is layered on top. And so I turn back to Him and this cycle is going on & on & on, and honestly I'm not feeling the LOVE right now. I'm not feeling much, other than being overwhelmed. How can we pay these bills down? Why won't someone give Eli a job? Doesn't someone want to buy this house? We don't need any more bills....
Thankfully Eli is home, he made it through his appendectomy without any glitches, and I feel bad when my mind goes to that place where I wonder how are we gonna pay for it? What are we gonna do?
I know what does keep joy in our hearts is Lil. She is this innocent, lovely child.
Full of laughter, funny faces & noises. Everday seems possible w/her.
Provide Winter Meals for Wild Birds
5 years ago
2 comments:
I am so sorry things are so hard right now. I totally get the layering of just one more thing and pretty much only feeling the overwhelmed part of it all. I am praying for you both and yeah, I am sorry it sucks right now. Lots of hugs and love.
Many times I wish I could take just one step in your place! How I wish trying to help you bear burdens made it light for you.
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