I Cried Today...

My tears fell unexpectedly today. Could it be a lack of sleep or just that my heart realized the sacrifices I have to make as a working mom. I awoke from my sleep to see Liliana being placed into someone elses car & leaving for the afternoon. Thankfully Eli got a catering gig for this afternoon & thankfully our friends could watch her for the afternoon. That being said I realized I won't see her at all today. I don't think I have ever gone more than a work shift w/o seeing, holding, kissing, nursing her.
...So I cried, is that silly. My heart just felt overwhelming sad. I realize everyday more & more that she is this gift, this wonderful beautiful gift from God.

So we're, as you see, still trying to figure this thing out. Me working, Eli potentially working & caring for Liliana. Thus far it has worked, but if & when he starts working more. Will I be able to back off from work a little more. What will this all look like. For now Eli is such a good daddy @ home w/Liliana, whether I'm here 'trying' to sleep or actually at work. They have a great time together & when I'm off of work, well its nice to have so much time w/Eli...but somethings gotta give soon.

I'm onto my 3rd night tonight & unlike most people I can't sleep straight through when I get home in the am. I usually crash hard when I get home from about 8am-noonish, I get up, have some Liliana time & eat & then head back to sleep in order to get up again around 5pm to get to work that night. Our schedules are not perfect, but its what is sustaining us for now. Who knows what the future will bring. But for now I will just enjoy what time I have w/my family.


Or you can eat your hair bow, Liliana