Monday, January 11, 2010

All I can

Lately I don't feel like I am ALL I can be. I've been struggling with who God is calling me to be. Eli & I have had many conversations about this already, and I feel my heart strings are being pulled in so many directions.
My heart aches to have the answers now, I pray for guidance, but lately have felt alone. I am & can be really good at isolating myself & retreating inside.
I am first and foremost a wife & mother, but I also work outside of the house and for all these things right now, at the end of the day, I feel lacking.

What is the best way to get my full?
*Share what I am going through, never assume your closest people know what you're feeling
*Prayer
*Be faithful in His Plan, which is something I'm truly having a difficult time with right now.

The point of this post, even though I know it rambles, is to just get a bit of my thoughts out. I tend to labor over them in my head too much, this blog is a helpful way for me to begin processing. :)

1 comment:

Whitney said...

I know you posted this over two weeks ago, but I thought I'd chime in and share a series of poems with you. I wrote these in October of 2005 in a time of waiting. Maybe they will help? I don't know - I pray for peace for you from above.

Waiting Time, Part I: Questions

When, Lord, when?
Why not now?
Why not me?
Why not this desire fulfilled?
Why not that path cleared for travel?
When will this door open?
Where should I go?
What should I do?
Where is Your answer?
How long until I know?
What can I do for now?
Is this too much?
Am I taking control?
Will You let me know?
What are Your plans?
Lord?


Waiting Time, Part II

So many questions you ask,
And I have questions in response.

Will you wait for Me, beloved?
Wait for Me under the tree?
And not eat the unripe fruit?
Will you wait for harvest time to reap?

Wait for Me, darling one.
Accept the passing of time.

I’ll be there soon, beloved.
Trust the One who loves you.
Will you wait for Me?

Waiting Time, Part III: Response

I can’t remember what it was I wanted that I didn’t already have.
What it was I wanted to hear that I didn’t already know.
Sovereign Lord.
I will wait for You.